They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
