just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
