Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
