Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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