i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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