apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize