there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
