Umm I'm too high to move.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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