isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
