I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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