i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Come see our sink grown plant.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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