Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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