no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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