so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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