TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
