My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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