he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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