Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Randomize
