we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I need to sanitize my soul.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
