i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
