So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
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My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
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I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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