it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
