Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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