it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
