Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
