what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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