Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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