Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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