Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(101): View more from

Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?

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(561): View more from Florida

If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.

(515): View more from Iowa

I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?

(1-319): View more from Iowa

Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.

(319): View more from Iowa

Thanks bro

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.

(856): View more from New Jersey

For the caroling or the orgy?

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(785): View more from Kansas

He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???

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