i would punch a child for taco bell
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.