Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?

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(203): these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw? http://tfl.nu/m5nm

Replies (1) Good night (2179) Bad night (1474)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts

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(319): Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts http://tfl.nu/snvl

Replies (51) Good night (5204) Bad night (1058)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.

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(856): "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls. http://tfl.nu/lfhc

Replies (13) Good night (3492) Bad night (969)
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(817): View more from Texas

HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.

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(817): HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis. http://tfl.nu/iuvq

Replies (28) Good night (6151) Bad night (1099)
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(949): View more from California

When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'

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(949): When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger' http://tfl.nu/z4iq

Replies (23) Good night (5350) Bad night (1292)
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(949): View more from California

the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.

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(949): the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed. http://tfl.nu/zkih

Replies (11) Good night (1059) Bad night (2648)
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(928): View more from Arizona

On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.

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(928): On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory. http://tfl.nu/gw1o

Replies (3) Good night (3229) Bad night (1021)
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(845): View more from New York

Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

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(845): Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight. http://tfl.nu/mc2w

Replies (2) Good night (2145) Bad night (888)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.

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(504): Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later. http://tfl.nu/kqj9

Replies (9) Good night (1704) Bad night (1455)
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(585): View more from New York

Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.

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(585): Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent. http://tfl.nu/f2ox

Replies (1) Good night (1033) Bad night (503)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.

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(901): I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy. http://tfl.nu/blaa

Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (363)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up

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(248): I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up http://tfl.nu/z2m0

Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (442)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.

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(803): Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time. http://tfl.nu/1oum

Replies (5) Good night (631) Bad night (488)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers

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(605): Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers http://tfl.nu/23r1

Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (591)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills

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(505): I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills http://tfl.nu/j0jg

Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (207)

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