Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.

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  (248): ..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe. http://tfl.nu/gys8
  Replies (10) Good night (3155) Bad night (776)
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  (916): View more from California

  I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.

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  (916): I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d. http://tfl.nu/ncdi
  Replies (12) Good night (714) Bad night (1937)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.

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  (303): Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel. http://tfl.nu/te56
  Replies (10) Good night (6776) Bad night (1118)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.

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  (281): I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas. http://tfl.nu/8z68
  Replies (10) Good night (3018) Bad night (1998)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.

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  (720): She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/92ru
  Replies (9) Good night (2971) Bad night (766)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  remember, YOU ARE A WINNER

  (410): View more from Maryland

  my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.

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  (520): remember, YOU ARE A WINNER (410): my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice. http://tfl.nu/siqr
  Replies (11) Good night (1417) Bad night (3183)
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  (949): View more from California

  She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?

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  (949): She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours? http://tfl.nu/0ch8
  Replies (13) Good night (4117) Bad night (1535)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.

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  (918): like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness. http://tfl.nu/c3xi
  Replies (7) Good night (1428) Bad night (798)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job

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  (435): For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job http://tfl.nu/nykr
  Replies (7) Good night (2223) Bad night (599)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.

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  (518): Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved. http://tfl.nu/9gud
  Replies (7) Good night (1927) Bad night (659)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.

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  (225): I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants. http://tfl.nu/c768
  Replies (0) Good night (1398) Bad night (604)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?

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  (256): Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we? http://tfl.nu/5put
  Replies (2) Good night (1005) Bad night (461)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?

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  (320): How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...? http://tfl.nu/7ruq
  Replies (8) Good night (914) Bad night (429)
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  (310): View more from California

  Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing

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  (310): Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing http://tfl.nu/gwvn
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (432)
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  (818): View more from California

  I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.

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  (818): I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me. http://tfl.nu/5z7i
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (228)

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