Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
