SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.