No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You ruined the universe
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
