Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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