Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i barfeds in our rink
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
