Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I smell stomach acid.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
What a dumb baby whore.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
