never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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