He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
