the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
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double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
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Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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