so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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