Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
