He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
