considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
