this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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