We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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