I'm going to rape someone's good day.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
