oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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