At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
