HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
