When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
