we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
