Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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