My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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