Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
