That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
