saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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