Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
