i think my mom watched the whole time
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
