i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
