I like to think it a success when the cops are called
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
should my penis look like a turkey
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
