I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize