After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
