when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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