I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize