pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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